Aquarius United

Why does choosing peace for myself seem so weird?

I worried too much about what others think about my life. I always wanted freedom from my family because of the lifestyle they imposed on me. I want to live life to the fullest. I just didn’t know how though. I didn’t know how to make my own happiness. I didn’t want to risk loneliness though. However, I beg for time alone, in nature. I want to travel by myself to anywhere where there isn’t a single human sound besides the sound of my own breath.

I want love though. It would be nice to be totally isolated but it would also be perfect if I could come home after a few days to a loving man who embraces me warmly and truly listens to my refreshed mind. I need that.

Sometimes I wonder why I don’t have that even though it’s what I want so badly. Did I resist it mistakenly by getting married to the wrong person. Did I make a few missteps on my journey and made a wrong turn dooming me from finding my soul mate? Is my soul mate right in front of me but I’m doubtful and willfully blind? I don’t trust what I see anymore.

I know what I want yet it seems like I can’t grab it, at least not yet. This is an extremely tough stage of my life. I don’t want to work a shitty job that pays me basically nothing but it’s necessary to scrimp for a small pleasure. I’d much rather be making money with my art but I can’t do it at the same time breaking my back for a measly 300 a month. I used to be a dancer and I want to dance again so badly, my body is screaming at me. My mind comes up with so many creative ideas and solutions but I don’t have anyone to tell them too, not anyone who can help me bring them to life. Even with all the “diversity” nonsense, that alone isn’t gonna get me in the right place, so I’m back to working a shitty job to make sure the kids stay fed and the bills don’t totally drive us into debt. On that note, to even gain access to certain events or workshops, that also costs money I don’t have laying around. Trust me, I really tried to accumulate it but when your partner doesn’t think about the future, they don’t care about saving despite the literal tears I shed about getting our lives straightened out so we don’t have to keep struggling. And by the looks of this market, we all are really about to struggle.

I hate money for this reason. It’s so obvious these money systems have totally ruined creative freedom and educational opportunity for billions of people over the last millennium. It’s just depressing and the population is so embedded in it and the governments and money manipulators know it but it doesn’t matter as long as their greed is satisfied. You can’t even have a noble conversation about eliminating this corrupt entity without people who have fallen for the lies and amnesiac history because they think that one day they will have enough paper tokens to pay for their funeral. Money is literally a piece of paper we give it some intrinsic value for goods, only because the corporate elite have accumulated all the available resources and forced us into labor to receive goods with a fiat currency. Once upon a time, my ancestors were literally the goods that were forced into labor.

Once upon a time way before that, there was no formal currency system in place. People just harvested food, hunted, fished and made art and had fun without dominating others. There’s a reason African people are so kind and welcoming, we were this way always and can’t deny our DNA. It’s the sickness that is western civilization that brings out the worst in everyone. You have to be fully asleep to think this lifestyle is healthy. Regardless, there is more than enough tender all over the would to cover the costs of every necessity. But capitalists were too greedy and called it evil socialism. Redistribution of wealth will generate the howls of these old rich bastards and their knights in gold painted bronze armor with pop up and defend their practices even though the evidence is clear.

This “individualism” idea is cancerous to what our Spirit is truly desiring. We should all have space to know ourselves but with the mechanisms of capitalism, that isn’t truly possible because you have to sacrifice your own peace to grind out for a few bucks an hour 6 days a week. People need each other though. We need to be able to hug, smile and greet the public. We are all of 1 Spirit and the spirit needs tangible connection. The online realm isn’t close enough, it’s cold and ego based, like every cyberpunk story tells us. In 1984, there’s reason Winston and his girlfriend go into nature and they fall in love not only with each other but with the earth and humanity. That’s the glimmer of hope we’re seeking despite the heavy propaganda to shed our humanity for the sake of a tech overlord.

There are so many lies told to us that distrust of others is basically a default. We definitely can’t trust the media, government, the religions, the market or contemporary history. We can’t trust anything and it feeds into us not trusting each other and that brings violence and abuse to all our neighborhoods, from the slums to the gated mansion communities. Though in the slums, they have to rely on each other a little more but it’s just as cutthroat as Wall Street when it comes to getting financially ahead. There are secret agencies at work that operate on sowing dissent for government powers. Big tech is getting money from these same agencies to allow them to work their evil magic on the rest of us so we don’t figure out the truth and boy do the alphabet gangs work hard at it. We can’t trust anything on the internet either because they keep screwing up real people who see the truth. They just use the internet to take those who know too much and reveal it or they discredit them with a “mental illness”, whatever it takes to make truth too absurd. And when you start seeing the truth, you start to seem absurd to everyone else who hasn’t realize that there is a huge plug in the back of your neck. People like me look like anomalies and the agencies want to keep it that way. That’s why I started off like that, it feels like I’m the crazy one but I feel the most sane I have in years. Choosing for myself that I don’t want to be a part of this system, I don’t want to be part of the matrix. And people need to take a true red pill that they don’t have to be part of this as well and we can actually come together competently to redesign our world before they literally jack us into pods.

I have the key to this future in my mind, and I want to unlock as many minds as possible, no strings attached. I don’t have attach anything, when others wake up, they just have to wake up the next person and so on. It’s really so simple. This quarantine was only put in place to attempt to shut people like me down and delay our process so they can try to progress their plot. The war of the heavens is here. There’s so much to say about that on it’s own. We have to understand each other. Mankind wasn’t designed to live like this and it’s the greatest sorrow ever known to us.

It is incredibly depressing that people will dismiss you over certain words and miss the entire message you’re trying to explain. This is the worst part and is the wrench in my gears. The algorithm is a nuisance as well for this reason and several other factors pertaining to it. There’s no other terminology though. If people knew how to listen and understand, not only others but themselves, we could have the beautiful world back. So many minds and hearts are disconnected, reprogrammed, and totally lost. Sometimes I wonder about the Cassandra asteroid that is on my chart conjunct my north node. The song Lights and Sounds by Yellowcard has a verse that goes “make it loud because no one’s around”. Just how loud do I need to get. I always dreamed about having a festival, like Woodstock and I speak to an entire audience about all of this. I’m working on it though. I have to or I will feel like I wasted my incarnation.

I know who I really am. I am a high priestess, a queen, a great shaman and I am full of memory and genius. I am all of the great women of my lineage who birthed me starting with the first goddess on this planet who came from the distant star looking to plant a new garden. I am the peacemaker with the sword of truth. I am genuine royalty. And I have the wrath of my ancestors to unleash and also their dreams to bring back to life. It is a wonderful burden to bear and no supposed enemy can match me in this strength. They could never defeat me head on which is why they have created so many obstacles and ugliness. It won’t be much longer now, my energy is restored.