Being Responsible with my Power

I went to a strip club after being away from the scene for a year and a half now. I told one of the dancers that I do tarot and astrology and she was like that’s scary. Considering it’s what I love to do, I understand the stigma surrounding it because of media and religious influence. It makes me think about how and why I work with the Tarot.

I have always known that I could pick up on vibrations and energy fields. I have a sixth sense and a connection to astral knowledge. The weird way I just seem to know things. I have been practicing my intuition to not second guess it but trust the first information that comes to me. I can tell the difference between cosmic knowledge awakening in my soul and my ego-driven attitude. It’s not so subtle so I know when to speak and when to meditate on it.

When I’m using the Tarot, I’m channeling that energy into the cards. They are a medium for universal energies. The vibration of Truth is the strongest. What makes a good tarot reader is their ability to be totally honest, with themselves first and then their client. I don’t read the cards to “see the future”. Hindsight is seeing the future; all humans have that ability. That is where trusting your intuition is useful for everyone. It’s not that hard to realize that if you do a certain number of actions, there will be a consequence attributed to it somewhere down the line. Astrology and tarot are helpful in channeling your energy into making healthier decisions. I ask the divine to protect me from malevolent energy and to show me the truth of the current situation. The truth is the most powerful yet simplest energy to channel. There’s no mystical weaving of fairy tales or spells, nor is it talking to demons though ancestral voices will come through.

I am very connected spiritually to my grandmother and I feel her embrace all the time. I have this grandmotherly energy that others pick up on. I just learned to allow this vicarious feeling of living my life to the fullest and not wasting any time on doubts and fears. I’m confident in living more freely and fully knowing that she is with me experiencing it as well.

I’ve accepted the whole truth about myself. My upbringing, my lived experiences in this life and past lives, my intuitions, and my intellectual conclusions. This is all real to me, and if so for myself, then also for others around me. I’m unique in my own life of course, but not unique in the human sense. The more I talked to different people and learn about others; I realize there is an overarching narrative to humanity. I use astrology to connect the dots in that regard. The storytelling part of shamanism is in this as well. I don’t have to use the cards or astronomy to realize that psychologically, all humans want to know their story and be a part of something greater than themselves.

My form of shamanism is mainly about justice, but not in a “right or wrong” view. It is about harmony and truth. I want to get rid of shame, guilt, and fears as it prevents you from letting goodness fill you up. My Jupiter in Libra has made himself very loud about this. Injustice will not be tolerated, and people can be healed by truth and alignment. We all have a story that we’re living out, however, a lot of people don’t realize they could be so much more if they stop playing the game that the present institutions have set up. I’m not a radical and I know things take a long time to change completely and most of us can’t just live off the grid so readily. Regardless, I want to free your mind from working within the mindset that you must conform to aspects of society that are incompatible with your innate morals and natural personality. Your soul has a purpose and it is NOT minor because the country you are in demands you expend your energy on their plans for more power. Meditate on the idea. I had to become more courageous to realize this and it was very hard for me considering my goals. I realized it though that some things really do happen for a reason and good things happened more once I started following that logic. I sense that once we start with this mental adaption, the rest will fall into place as it should.

I use a lot of astrological jargon when describing myself, so I apologize to the uninitiated. When I use the phrases, I know what they embody and its great shorthand. Blame my Pisces mercury ha-ha. When I write, I go in bursts, but I have gotten much better about controlling the flow. Last year (2018), A random guy in a strip club gave me the best advice I have ever received about pursuing my passion. I showed him my poetry and he remarked that because he heard my voice before reading, he said that the structure was clouding it. Sacrifice the structure so I could let my true voice out. It’s been so good for me in so many sections of my life. I basically just stopped giving a fuck about how people see me because I know I am being the best version of myself and I’m still growing eternally. I feel great in terms of mental health because I am just being my most honest self. Without the cloud of delusions or expectations of others, I feel so free and healthy. I still get blue and red days, first of all, I’m a menstruating female, second, the world’s problems can feel so large especially since I’m sensitive to the energy around me and in the collective and lastly, those fears can peek out and trip me when I’m not prepared. I haven’t had a depressive episode longer than 3 days in such a long time since accepting the truth and allowing love in.

So, I want to use the talent that I have with high openness social skill, my sixth sense, and accumulated wisdom to help others. I got triggered to dive headfirst into this task after the suicide of Etika, Desmond Amofah. I realized how bad the situation has gotten for young people who feel like they don’t have control of their lives anymore. I know exactly what that is like. I attempted suicide at 14 and you would probably be surprised to hear about how many more teens just failed their attempts. The numbers these days are skyrocketing. I have a strong sense of the causes. I do charge for my services because we live in a capitalist society and there is no getting around it, but I want to help kids the most. They are our future. I write all about my pain so others now they are not alone and that suffering as a permanent part of life is a huge fucking lie. You can surpass pain and live honestly and happily by being yourself as you were born and tempering your unique soul into something divinely beautiful. The world doesn’t want you to believe that because they want more power and slaves. I really will go into this more in videos.

I rant and ramble because I’m passionate and I want to be understood clearly. The only things that are evil on this planet are other human beings who purposely make horrible choices that harm others. There is no balance of good and evil, we can eliminate it by this amazing technology of the internet and the power of true love. Hate will destroy whatever it consumes, including the hater. Those hyper-religious types that choose their dogma over real love will never be satisfied. The same goes for hyper secular atheists. The real truth is that we all are created from the same cosmic dust that came forth from the big bang when the creator did its thing. That may forever be a mystery to us just because of the attempt to contemplate it will break your brain. When I attempt to imagine it, all I see are shining petals of sacred geometry. It doesn’t matter for us to know that anyway because it won’t solve the problems on Earth right now. We are entering a new great era and we have to sort out so much that has gone wrong for the last 2000 years. I’m not claiming to be a superhero. I suppose I see myself in a role like Moses and bringing down the truth to save humanity from mental enslavement and revealing a path to freedom. It’s in my blood to be a leader towards independence and I’m humble enough to know I still have a way to go. My ancestors are helping me in phenomenal ways, and I must give them so much praise and love. All our ancestors are still around in essence, call out to them for help and pay attention because they will act quickly and be gracious when you receive it. Speak to person, like me, or anyone you feel inclined to talk to, even a kind stranger, just don’t force anyone to listen or you’ll just sting yourself. Those people who take hopeless victim mentalities are dangerous and detrimental towards recovery.

I decided to be precise as possible and be totally honest. I got to give Jordan Peterson big thanks for speaking up when he did and inspired myself and so many others to do the same. It was probably one the most important things to happen this decade, maybe this century if the good effects are long-lasting. It triggered me to start working towards the distant future. The ripples we create now will turn into tidal waves at some point, might as well make them tsunamis of positivity.

On the back of my business card I have a bible verse, 1 Corinthians 12:4, “there are diversities of gifts but they are of the same spirit”. I resonated with that deeply because I see how many readers, astrologers, and intuitive folk are working nowadays. Despite profit-seekers slipping in the mix, I see many relate to the divine in their unique way. All of us in this community need to support and teach each other with kindness. There’s so much energy around us and we should avoid the trap of walling each other off because of ego-driven reasons. Avoiding gossip and throwing shade is a big part of that. We don’t want to fall into the same trap as religions and create sects of those who feel superior over others. I love being a part of the vibe tribes but we can’t let petty differences rip us apart. We need each other because not one person can handle all this psychic healing energy. We need tribes and their leaders to exist peacefully with each other.

In 2020 I intend on doing regular videos talking because I feel I express myself more clearly in speech than text. I will still blog because I want to work on my writing skills so I can have my book finished and published by 2024. Some things are better expressed through art. I want to keep helping people find their way most of all. I want to keep expressing myself honestly. I want to have as much fun with this life as possible. I want to smile about all the things and light up the world with more bright smiles.

Bless this new year with harmony from conflicts, the truth coming to light and love being shared with all. There’s a lot of work to do but those like me are ready to help the process and work towards progress.

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