Tutorial is Over

This year has been a long one.

Forcing one to become insightful and mindful

Seeing into the red scene beneath the scar

Looking at your own reflection, and speaking aloud “is this thy fate or misfortune,”

“my fault or the universe design” “his words or her thoughts “

My thoughts as I look into the abyss of the past and see much blood on the floor

Wounds unclosed half scabbing and snagging on clothing Broken off pieces of a young girls heart trailed into adult mind, getting caught up in my throat

What is the effect of growing up a victim

When are the reigns loosened in the grip of the mind of the recipient of a crime

Hindsight is blindness with wisdom, knowing the future isn’t perfect but a projectile waiting to be caught, a ball you threw to yourself

All the way in the endzone, straight down centerfield, over the goalie’s outstretched arms, you’re going to catch it yourself


I wrote this poem in December 2016. Here at the end of this year, I feel I have reached the next chapter. The ball I threw to myself is closing in and I have to get ready to catch it. I know that when I catch it, I have to keep running.

This decade has done so much. It is not even a blink in the eye of the length of the universe but for our human lives, it is a 10th of a lifetime, speaking in terms of a 100-year long life. We have changed so much, the internet has changed so much about living in modern life. There is nothing new under the sun but I get the sense that the internet is so brand new to our collective. It changed the way we interact with each other for better and worse. It’s a major evolutionary step we’ve made as a species. The pessimistic scientific view of humanity has degraded our own abilities so much that people have become nihilistic about existence.

Let’s stay reminded of the intention we set so long ago when we decided we weren’t going to be weak anymore. We aren’t going to be taken advantaged of by others. Remember we chose to endure and suffer through so that we could find peace. We threw our future selves a ball and we have to be there to catch it. The goals we set for ourselves are waiting for us to get there. It will always be waiting for you, but you don’t want this shitty part to drag on too long, do you? We decided that we were going to ride the wave back to shore, we said we weren’t going to drown. If we stop now or get sidetracked, we’re not going to make it. Use a powerful force to keep you going. The tried and tested energy of Love and truth propels into eternity and will never run out when you open up the source within yourself. I have made several promises to myself that I’m not going to break because I know what’s waiting for me as long as I keep going forward. In reality, I don’t know exactly what I’m getting but I have a clear vision of what I want and I have faith that I will get it eventually. I marked off a personal timeline based on my astrology, but as a whole, I know that my impact will be worth it no matter what it is.

We should not falter in having faith in ourselves. We must continue the fight for freedom. Do not let the bad days drag you back to that place you crawled out of years ago. Do not let darkness overtake you when you have felt the light. Allow it to come and to pass as the earth moves. be truly beautiful because that is what is going to save us all. transmute the sensations into your personal power. It will become your more honest guide. Love yourself and forgive your enemies, holding on to those feelings will just be a chain to what you don’t even want to be connected to anymore. an umbilical cord to pain that you should just cut off because it’s parasitic on both ends. Figure out what love means to you. I have been trying to figure it out myself and I come to the conclusion that love is the force that exerts through kindness, patience, and compassion. We still have a lot to relearn in this generation about true love. Romance is tricky but possible. But we can easily find mutual love for another human just by doing away with prejudices and working together towards peace. I sense that we won’t be happy as a whole until it’s understood. There’s a lot of very hard work to be done but that is why truth above all should be key. facts and feelings don’t matter when it comes to the highest truth.

It is wonderful to live in the next decade and I wish so many lost ones were still with us now. However, I know that earthly death is not the end for our souls and they are still with us in spirit and memory. We have to keep going to protect the legacy we have been standing on for eons and to ensure that we are able to venture out into the stars as a collective force of love. It’s the only way it will happen. There’s a lot we don’t know as a people but as we come together more we’ll learn extremely fast. We aren’t so different from one another as humans, but unique in our abilities to assist each other in every facet possible. Stop listening to the lies and listen to each other. they can’t stop the truth. Even though the bible is full of deceptions, the vibration of the truth just can’t be shaken off. We only have to remember Jesus Christ’s most important lessons to bring peace to the world over. Love God, your family, friends, and neighbors. Value Truth above everything. Have faith in the divine and others. It is so important just to do these simple tasks but modern society has made us believe that we are just greedy selfish animals when we know that we are capable of so much more. There can be no more sitting around while the game is still ongoing and losing ourselves in the process. There’s so much potential for good in the world obviously but we have to take the blinders off to see it. It’s not easy I will tell you but once you realize how comforting the feeling is, then you’ll gladly continue to keep going.

Remember to smile because you are blessed even no matter who you are. We’re standing on the pivot point of history and mankind right now. We have the ability to start making positive changes that will turn into such beauty in the future. I smile to myself thinking about it because it is so true. believe that we each make an impact on each other no matter how small it will transform over time into beauty. It’s our choices and thoughts that will create it.

I love you all and I wish the best in all your efforts. I’m praying for you always.


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